tolpen: A waist-up portrait of the Soft-Eyed Mycologist. He is a man with dark skin and long dark hair, wearing a cyan waistcoat a white shirt. He is lifting a red mask from his face. He is wearing large round golden pince-nez. (the soft-eyed mycologist)
 
Benthic Department ofCryptomycology
 Subterranean Mycology
Laboratory XI
Authorised personel only
Nur Mitarbeiter
N'y pense même pas
EYE PROTECTION MANDATORY PAST THIS POINT
 
Despite this ominous warning, the Mycologist takes a deep breath and cracks the door open, although he does put his goggles on.
"Welcome to my little kingdom," he beams at the Piper and in a sweeping motion indicates the laboratory.

It is far from a cold, sterile place. Almost every surface bears a terrarium or a Petri plate, each with some kind of a mushroom or at least a mold. The far end holds a low tank with two lab rats. One is nibbling on a sandwich, the other is shrugging back into its lab coat and climbing up to have a yet another go at the soil samples.
A nearby plate with an adhesive surface is measuring the amount of spores in the air - it is fairly low, considered the place is a bit of a jungle.

"Thou dostn't have to worry about the eyewear; we've concluded the retina experiment a few months ago. But it keeps most of the nosy students out, so we've kept the sign."

tolpen: A waist-up portrait of the Soft-Eyed Mycologist. He is a man with dark skin and long dark hair, wearing a cyan waistcoat a white shirt. He is lifting a red mask from his face. He is wearing large round golden pince-nez. (the soft-eyed mycologist)
The journey to the Soft-Eyed Mycologist's lodgings leads from the University across the river, and then twists into the very streets of the Bazaar. Into the parts where back alleys have their own back alleys, where the signs are more discreet, displaying windows dusty or shuttered and where most Londoners realize that they should have brought a big yarn of twine.
The Mycologist, hand in hand with the Chimeric Professor, walks these mews with the assurance of someone, who is absolutely certain where they are going, and fully expect the streets to collaborate with that premise. Which is half of the trick of navigating around these parts. The other half of the trick is to tire the streets out and let them give up first. Third half of the trick is not to show any sign of fear and to not approach from behind. Applicable as much to the Bazaar as it is to horses.

The streets are a rag-tag gathering of various houses the unifying features of which is rusty bricks and heavy doors. The Mycologist ends up leading the Professor to a house which was notably rather nondescript, save for where a second story would be and turn into an attic, there was a great deal of glass - a dome of a greenhouse. The growth was too thick, however, to see further in, not to mention that the unflattering angle made the glass reflect light and made observations all the more difficult for it.
The brass plaque on the door is warm to touch. It doesn't provide a name, but it promises expertise consultations with legal and security matters. A smaller plaque, slightly newer, kindly asks all WaDMoF submission to be left in the mail and submissions exceeding in volume the capacity of the mail slot to be sent to the Benthic Department of Subterranean Mycology (Formerly Benthic Department of Cryptomycology), laboratory XI.
An unhelpful graffiti adds that for office hours of this place one ought to contact Madame Shoshana.

The heavy door gives way to a small entry room which is dark and barren except for a deserted coat hanger. Ignoring both door leading further in, the Mycologist makes his way up the narrow and creaking staircase without as much as his footstep making a sound.
On the first landing he gives the first door on his left a hefty kick; "There is a trick to it, the frame has sagged," he explains.
Beyond the door is a hoard. Well, it is a living room, but it is buried under, well, everything. Mostly books and papers, but there are also pretty teacups (there is a handful that comes in pair, but most doesn't), stray pieces of bones and glim and even a few chunks of amber at this point permanently fused with the table. And of course the mushroom pots. Every horizontal surface has at least one on it. es, that includes the sofa and the armchair.

"Make thyself comfortable wherever. If it looks like a religious text, please move it not."
There is a hearth. Despite the false summer, it has a fire going on. And in spite of that, the house feels... quite chilly, actually.
The Mycologist throws his gloves and jacket over a beautiful and severely overgrown russula, and adds some coal to the fire. The room is nto warmer for it, but at least it gets the kettle going.
"While the water heats up... Ask, and I promise to answer truthfully."
tolpen: A waist-up portrait of the Soft-Eyed Mycologist. He is a man with dark skin and long dark hair, wearing a cyan waistcoat a white shirt. He is lifting a red mask from his face. He is wearing large round golden pince-nez. (the soft-eyed mycologist)
The following letter has appeared on the Mycologist's vanity overnight. It has since then been meticulously filed away with its brothers and sisters in the repurposed hatbox that usually serves as a table for a beautiful potted burlap stem. The fungi of he house shy away from that hatbox. And from the vanity, come to think of it.

Addressed to: Dearest
I know I do not write to you often. I don't have the way with words you do. But we have scarcely seen each other lately and I feel I need to warn you.
You are courting a disaster. Again. And while I am grateful that you haven't stepped away from me when everyone (myself included) told you to do so... Whatever you are doing, let it be. Let it go.
You won't. I am aware you won't. I know you inside and out. But I still have to ask you anyway.
'What does he know of what I do and whom I court? What does he care?' Those might be your thoughts, except more verbose. More poetic, like everything you say and do is more poetic.
First of all, I am your b____y husband. Of course I care! And I do not like to have a competition in the form of a self-destructive project. If you want to have your skull unfolded open, all you have to do is ask and I will do it! You won't even have to ask, I'll do it anyway.

But more importantly, not only I care, I know something is wrong, because the Parabola around your dreams has changed.
Yes, it changes all the time. But those changes are gradual. They follow a logic. Dream logic, but a logic nevertheless. It is never a sudden upheaval of the dreamscape.
Your dreams are now made of snow. Each snowflake like a razor. They cut and get beautifully lodged just beneath the skin.
There is no light there. The entire Parabola basks in the cosmogone light the Second Sun... except for whatever you have going on right now. It is dark and watery. It doesn't even work as a nightmare well, because whatever goes bump in the dark, you don't get to see it even when it bumps into you.
Not that anything goes bump there. Well, I did, but I don't count. I was just visiting.

Oh yeah, I also fell into a hole there. Not too deep, mind you. Easily climbed out, really. It could stand to have a headmarker. Or howling wind around.
As far as maintenance goes, this thing you've made is easy, but... I know you. You can dream worse and bigger.
Has this anything to do with you waking up covered in hoarfrost every morning?
Maybe sleep with the lid open; it might freeze shut otherwise. Oh I would be overjoyed to have you there, all wrapped in velvet in a tight box. Like the old times. But you always complain about having to get up every morning to do this or that. You'd be downright insufferable if you messed up your schedule.

I promise I'll visit. Don't think I haven't noticed your ears have healed.
Polish the pretty needles, would you?

Sealed with kisses
E.
tolpen: A waist-up portrait of the Soft-Eyed Mycologist. He is a man with dark skin and long dark hair, wearing a cyan waistcoat a white shirt. He is lifting a red mask from his face. He is wearing large round golden pince-nez. (the soft-eyed mycologist)
For this or that reason you have sought out the Soft-Eyed Mycologist. Possibly you have met him in a certain "corresponding seminar", possibly you have heard of him in a different context.
Whether you have asked for him at the university (he, apparently, has a dedicated laboratory), knocked on the door of his little office in the back alleys of the Bazaar only to be met by the housekeeper, or tailed him from a small gathering of the Counter-Church in the Spite, you have ultimately ended up in the Medusa's Head.

This is the pub with the best worst reputation in London. The Mycologist sticks out like a sore, well cleaned thumb in flashy blue adorned with jewels. He is draping himself over the shoulders of Burglar of Very Little Consequence, flashing the cards the man is holding with a mirrored brooch to the rest of the impromptu gambling table. As your eyes find him, he cracks a joke which you do not catch, but it leaves the table roaring with laughter. He then excuses himself to the bar. His pot of tea has just arrived.
For a moment the scent of stale beer and cigar-smoke is interrupted with a flash of oriental spices and tea-leaves. Tea. In this pub. Nobody even raises their head.

As the realization that this man is a regular fixture in this establishment dawns upon you, you also note that right now the Mycologist is entirely unaccompanied at the bar. There is no better moment than this to get his attention. He doesn't seem to be in any hurry.

((Extracurricular RP Archive))An Encounter in the Veilgarden, 24th of June
A Flexible appointment
A Place of Agreeable Tea, 24th of June
A Tour Through the Laboratory, Somewhen Between 8th and 14th of July
((Notable Correspondence Seminar RP Archive))Class One (10th of June): Class has begun (20 sentences)
Class Two (17th of June): Before Class (Dancing lessons, hopefully)Class Three (24th of June): Before Class (Coffee and spice)
Class Three (24th of June): Break Time (Getting to know the Chimeric Professor)
Class Four (1st of July): Time With the Teacher (Aspirations)
Class Four (1st of July): After Class (The Musical)
Class Five [Tuesday Morning, July 8] (Wood-pulp Aircrafts)
Class Six [Tuesday Morning, July 15] (Mission: Impossible Theme Plays)


Citizen File ((Character infopost))


tolpen: A waist-up portrait of the Soft-Eyed Mycologist. He is a man with dark skin and long dark hair, wearing a cyan waistcoat a white shirt. He is lifting a red mask from his face. He is wearing large round golden pince-nez. (the soft-eyed mycologist)
This letter (unsent) is not the account of the dreams the Soft-Eyed Mycologist had on the night from 24th of June to 25th of June, submitted to the Ex-Disgraced Academic. This letter was penned a few hours before the submitted account was drafted, heavily revised, and finally sealed in an envelope.

Addressed to: My heart

I belong to thee as thou belongst to me, and only to thee as thou only to me. This is not love; it will not save us. It will not condemn us.
Tonight I dreamed of the tomb which is a cradle again, and of thy person. I wish thee entered my dreams again. All I have seen lately is only the shadow of thine. ‘Tis the call of violant, forging the link between what I know that I know and what I know not yet that I know. I remember. My is the colour of memory; thy is the colour unnaming. Should my memory fail me, this letter shall persevere.
We travelled through the endless night. It was cold, as only night knows to be. The ways deep and the wind sharp. The very dead of winter; if I may call it winter, for winter is preceded by autumn and followed by fall. There was no time and no snow. Only the cold wind and the ash.
I had two companions. I knew them well then, but I know them not now. We spoke not, for there was nothing left to say between us. They held my hands, shackles of flesh and bone. I went willingly.
We were sore of feet and minds. We found no rest in laying down, in the ash-snow that melted upon our bodies until it robbed us of all the warmth we had left. Then it no longer thawed. We walked through the last winter after which there was nothing, three bodies as one, breathing and pale as the dead.

I recall reaching the cradle. ‘Twas a depression in stone from which the stars averted its light. The length was of a body and the depth was without an end. Icy water filled it to the brim, with a crust of ash upon its foam.
Within the cold water was not the body of a god. I did not see it and I did not offer a prayer to it, for I know not how to pray to such a god. Even if I knew, there is no god worthy of a prayer.
My chains, my companions, bound me to that tomb, they pushed me into the water. ‘Twas cold, colder than love, colder than life, colder than the night which knows no dawn. But my body was colder still.
The stone around me was a cage from which I knew no escape. Never before had I been submerged for this long. Never before had I known the world above the water’s surface.
My lungs burned, they ached for air.

That was when thou pulledst the cage from the cold water with a great rattling of the chains from which it and I were suspended. I knew this person to be thee and not-thee, for I saw thy face, and I knew within the dream as I know upon waking thou wouldst never bare thyself in such indecency.
My body was cold and naked and ached for thy warmth. I begged this false thee to embrace me. I cried, tears burning through the icy crust on my face.

Thy reflection dropped me back into the black waters of the grave that was no longer there. I knew it to be thy mercy, thy rescue from the nightmare of the tomb and cradle and the journey beyond the end.
I called for thee.
Water filled my lungs. I know well the necessity. Only when I am cold within and without, only then I know how to appreciate thy warmth. Only when my hearts have stopped, I know how to live in thine.

I wish it were thy hands that held me in the cold, dark waters. Thy teeth that tore me apart.

Thine, as always
[the signature is illegible]
tolpen: A waist-up portrait of the Soft-Eyed Mycologist. He is a man with dark skin and long dark hair, wearing a cyan waistcoat a white shirt. He is lifting a red mask from his face. He is wearing large round golden pince-nez. (the soft-eyed mycologist)
The lights are still bright and the crowds bustle - although for the Veilgarden, this is fairly low traffic. The air is thick with the wine of yesternight, honey, and a mixture of perfumes.
The Soft-Eyed Mycologist is stalking- no not, stalking, he is loitering on the edge of the area. Biding his time. Waiting. He has a pocket watch. He doesn't check it, not even once.
Unlike earlier today, he is not wearing light blue nor teal. The tailcoat is true apocyan and so are the trousers. The waistcoat is silver and white. There is a lapel pin in the shape of a cross, and there is a pair of comfortable yet dashing shoes. They click audibly on the cobblestones and the occasional spark betrays that the soles are reinforced with steel.
Wherein one would expect him to carry a walking stick, all he holds is a parcel of a modest size, wrapped in brown paper and tied with a piece of twine. It doesn't appear to be heavy.

Citizen File

Friday, 16 May 2025 22:50
tolpen: A waist-up portrait of the Soft-Eyed Mycologist. He is a man with dark skin and long dark hair, wearing a cyan waistcoat a white shirt. He is lifting a red mask from his face. He is wearing large round golden pince-nez. (the soft-eyed mycologist)
Person: The Soft-Eyed Mycologist
Alias: Advocate in Apocyan, Kitty, Locksmith
Referred to as: He/him/his
Age: Early 40's (?)
Species: Human (Speculated cat?)
Identifying features: Of average human weight and height. Dark skin. Soft face and eyes, prominent nose. Dark hair, long, straight (often in loose queue). Notably accessorized with large piercings, dominantly (but not exclusively) in ears, clothed in light teal or blue. Never seen without his large golden pince-nez.
Residency: In the side-streets of the Bazaar. It is the only barrister's office that has a greenhouse in the second story.
Most often encountered at (in descending order of likelihood): The Medusa's Head, Benthic College (Department of Cryptobotany and Subterran Mycology), his office (see above), any religious congregation.
What a Londoner has probably heard: This man has been the editor of Wild and Domesticated Mushrooms of London for the past eight years and is presumed responsible for the newer editions of this book having double the page count of the original. This name might pop up if you ask for a locksmith in Medusa's Head.

Author

tolpen: (Default)
Tolpen

About

You have reached Tolpen. Tolp is still figuring out Dreamwidth and is currently using it to role-play the Soft-Eyed Mycologist, a Fallen London character (see sticky entry). A larger crew might appear, eventually.
Tolpen uses ne/nem/neir neopronouns when feeling fancy, and he/she/they when not. Ne occasionally writes stuff on AO3 under the same name.
Among neir interests belong (in no particular order) necromancy, murder mysteries, TTRPGs, crocheting, toxicology, and pretending ne is a man with a mid-life crisis and a job of keeping the reality together online.
Oh, and ne is still a Homestuck fan in this time and age, gods help us all.

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